The way Nepalis behave, I think, can be generalized to Asians in particular. Why? I'm not too sure - my family is not like that, but then again my parents have lived abroad. I wonder: would my family be different if they have only lived in Malaysia? Would Asian families living abroad change their habits to be more Westernized?
Is Western culture really more civilized? Values like respect, courtesy, responsibility... idk, they all seem to come out from an Eastern classroom. But why is it that Easterners generally don't behave that way, at least not in the eyes of Westerners? Why do Westerners think they behave that way?
I remember vaguely my mom telling me that she thought that Westerners (she's talking about white people here) are unclean because they don't shower every day in the winter. At the same time, she would call Malaysian villagers unclean because they don't thoroughly wash their food and hands before they eat. When my roommate's parents visited our apartment and stayed and cooked for some days, a close Chinese friend asked me what I would do if they were cooking and I wanted to cook. I said I would just tell them I wanted to cook and do it. She was surprised: in Eastern cultures you don't do that to elders. You should wait until they are done. But to me, I'm paying rent, so I have the right to do what I want in my home. Am I being disrespectful by being straightforward about what I want? Are they being disrespectful for not asking my permission before using my stove? These are rhetorical questions.
I've came to this conclusion: many habits and behaviors are not innately one culture or the other, contrary to what we think.. They are both dirty and disrespectful and uncivilized people from both the East and West. It's just so much easier to blame it on their race/where they come from if they are different than us. Sometimes, "disrespectful" is a relative term. I was okay with my roommate's parents using my apartment, but I was not going to tolerate being subordinate to them. I believe some of you readers may feel strongly one way or the other, and that's okay, too.. As long as the people you interact with is on the same page.
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This morning, in the rain, I walked into Himalayan Bank for some money exchange. The security guard yelled something in Nepali to me, which I somehow understood like "water" and "outside". I looked at him confused. He yelled at me again. And then I realized what he meant: shake the water off your umbrella outside. So I did it. I heard his companion tell him (in Nepali): "she probably doesn't understand". The guard turned over and asked "you're not Nepali?" in English.
I nodded. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" he was very apologetic. "I'm so sorry."
"Can I do money exchange here?" I asked in English.
"Yes, yes, just walk in." I saw a line.
"Do I need a number? Where do I get it?" I asked.
"No. No need number. Just go to the counter!" and then he escorted me there.
When I filled in the form for the money exchange, I wrote my address: "XXXXX.. Nepal Eye Hospital XX". The teller looked up at me and said something.
"Excuse me?"
"You doctor?" he said in awe.
"I'm just a student." I said.
He seemed to not believe me. Do Nepalis like or dislike doctors? This is also another hard question to answer. So far, my experience has been: people refuse to think that I'm not a doctor, regardless of how many times I've explained "I'm a student". I sometimes almost have to retort to "Just look at me. Do I look old enough to be a doctor?" But they like to go on and on about their (eye) problems.
On the other hand I have heard that Nepalis are very superstitious about medical doctors. They think that most doctors only want to get their money, and will not buy the medicine from their prescription, under the impression that the doctors will get a fraction of those sales. If they don't get well from seeing a medical doctor, they then go to a local doctor, and eventually, to a church.
Some people think that's how most Nepalis convert to Christianity: out of healing.
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What do Nepalis think of foreigners? That's another hard question to answer. Some certainly think that foreigners are rich and are only here to show off how rich they are, and hence would try to rub money off them. Some young Nepali men, influenced by western media, think that all white women are easy. In the evening they linger around and try to catch a white girl's eye. There have also been Asian-looking people who I know who somehow became "love interests" of Nepali men, most probably because they have an American passport.
On the other hand, white women seem pretty resistant to the idea of marrying Nepali men. Many missionaries here have remained single, despite having great Nepali men around them that they praise all the time. This is quite contradictory with situations in East and Southeast Asia, where Western men tend to marry local women.
And then when I think about it, I don't think that White women innately dislike Asian men. When Asian men migrated to the US in the early 1900's, many of them married white women and settled down in the US. That's how I have several friends with Asian last names but look just white. When Western men marry Asian women in the East, the women almost always follow the men back to the West.
So I guess it's this: Westerners want to go back to the West. It's easier for a Western man to bring his Asian wife back, while it's harder for a Western woman to convince her Asian husband to leave his family.
There are so many unanswered questions about the anthropology of Nepal. I guess that's how (and why) some people still have jobs here *laughs*. No kidding, I think M is doing a great job in unveiling Nepal here.
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